How Sweet it Is…

By: Jenni Saake (DME)

Honey, that is.  We all know this golden substance can be a more natural substitute for processed sugar in our foods, but did you know that this natural humectant (a substance that attracts and retains moisture) can be a “sweet” beauty treat too?

As I first began exploring natural beauty, honey was the substance that took me by most pleasant surprise.  Honey has been used since early history to pamper the fairest of bodies ranging from the Biblical Queen Esther to Cleopatra of Egypt?  If you want to try a silky-skin treat, simply pour ¼ of honey into your running warm bath.  Powdered goat’s milk can be added for extra richness.

Queen Anne of England reportedly used a honey and oil to keep her long hair thick and shiny.  Treat your damaged hair to ½ cup honey mixed with ¼ cup olive oil and placed under a shower cap for half an hour before a thorough shampoo.  For a great shine, stir a teaspoon of honey into 4 cups of warm water to rinse (and leave in) after washing.

Women in China have used honey with ground orange seeds to prevent blemishes for centuries.  A modern exfoliating facial scrub can be made simply by mixing finely ground almonds with a bit of honey and a squeeze of lemon juice then rubbing gently over your face.  Dry skin can be refreshed with a mashed banana mixed with a little warm water and ¼ cup of honey, then applied as a mask for 15-30 minutes and rinsed with cool water.

Hollywood makeup artists know that just a touch of honey directly on a pimple can help reduce swelling and irritation brought on by thick stage makeup and hot lights.  A thin skin of honey swiped across a small scratch can create a “band-aid” that helps seal out germs and aids in healing because of antimicrobial properties.  This natural anti-irritant is a God-send to many with sensitive skin.

I frequently rub a drop of raw, organic honey onto my warm, clean, wet face right out of the shower or add a drop to my moisturizer to prep my skin before mineral makeup application.  (A little goes a long way!  Too much and you will feel sticky rather than refreshed.)  Due to antioxidants, honey may even help protect your skin from the harmful effects of UV rays; I certainly wouldn’t count on it as your only sun protection, but in addition to your current products, it certainly can’t hurt to have one more weapon in your arsenal against sun damage.

Natural Beauty Basics

By: Jenni Saake (DME)

Thank you for allowing me to share a little sliver of your day as you read this column.  For my first post it only seems right to share a bit about myself so you know who it is you are trusting for your information.  I’m featured here as a “Natural Beauty Expert” and yes, I think that is a fair description.  However my expertise has not been learned through special training, nor am I naturally gifted in knowledge of my topic.  Rather I share with you what I have searched out in answer to my own questions about health and beauty.  Much of what I have to say is information you could readily find for yourself were you to set out looking for it, but I can speak as an expert because I have taken the time to do that searching on your behalf and am happy to share what I’ve learned along my own journey to natural beauty.

If you have questions you would like to see answered here, I would like to hear from you!  If you ask things that I don’t know the answer to but think my readers will benefit from learning about as well, I will be honest with you that you are asking about things outside my area of current knowledge, but will gladly do my best to research and let you know what I find out.  So with these disclaimers, I welcome you to this little corner of my world and look forward to learning about natural beauty alongside you!

Let’s start with the most basic of basics.  Ask most beauty experts their number one piece of beauty advice and you will probably hear, “Drink lots of water!” Hydration is so important to ever cell in our bodies. There really is no substitute for pure, clean, refreshing water. Just “drinking” isn’t good enough as caffeinated, alcohol rich, sugary or chemical-laden (such as diet) drinks can actually rob our bodies of many of the benefits of plain water.

Sometimes it is hard to drink enough because water is just that, plain!  It doesn’t “taste good” to us so we seek alternatives. Slices of citrus (lemon, lime, orange, grapefruit or some combination of these) might give it the kick we need to make it more inviting. Or for an unusual and refreshing alternative, try slicing a chilled cucumber into your water. (Don’t forget to save a couple slices for a cooling puffy-eye treat!)

Another common reason for not drinking enough is simple business or forgetfulness. Make a habit of drinking you 64+ daily ounces by setting a pitcher out on the counter, lining up 8 glasses as a visual reminder to count down through the day, or by setting a timer for hourly drinks.  If you have other creative ways to make sure you are staying well-hydrated, I look forward to hearing what you have to share.

I’ve always believed that our bodies are only the start of beauty though, and that true beauty begins deep within, even deeper than the cellular level.  Just as it is important to train ourselves to stay physically hydrated, it is equally critical, really even more so, to make a habit out of daily refreshing our spirits too!  We all come from different religious backgrounds (or some choose to avoid religion all together), but in my Christian faith Jesus calls Himself the “Living Water” and time meditating on the Bible and spending moments with Him in prayer is how my heart is refreshed, just as water blesses my physical body.  You might find your spirit energized through exercise, or pursuing a beloved hobby, or simply reaching outside yourself to lend a helping hand to someone in need.  When I feel truly joyful and at peace inside, I glow with unique beauty that radiates to the world around me no matter the condition of my physical body.

Banish Worry in Five Simple Steps!

By: Mark Hundley (DME)

But . . . There Are . . . GIANTS Out There!

The world in which we live is filled with GIANTS — standing on every corner; posted on every hilltop; stationed in every board room; infiltrating every organization; lurking around our homes; toying with our minds; intimidating our every intent!  Who are these giants?  Certainly not the San Francisco type! No sirree!  The giants to which I refer are the GIANTS of WORRY!  That’s right — Worry!

In the same manner that Goliath goaded the Israelites, Worry taunts us, degrades our personhood, challenges our courage, discounts our purpose, laughs at our resolve, calls us names, drains our energy and deflates our spirit!  Yes, Worry is one mean dude!

We, like the trusty Israelites, often find ourselves trembling in the shadows cast by the GIANT worries that loom over us!  What’s a person to do?

Worry’s Focus

If we examine the plight of the Israelites, we discover the source of their impotence in facing the monstrous challenge in front of them.  At the very core of their worries was a focus on what they did NOT have in their possession.  What were some of the things that captured their attention — those possessions that they believed would turn the tide in their favor? I can hear them now –  “If only we had ______ we could defeat that mean old GIANT!”

It seems that they believed if they only had “their own Giant,” then they would win.  If they had the “courage” to face him down, then they would be victorious.  If they had a “secret weapon” they could take him by surprise.  If they had a warrior with “superhuman strength” then the war would end.  If, if, if!  It is really difficult to fight and win a battle against worry if your focus is always on what you do NOT have in your possession!  Worry will win every time!

KISS and Know Your Enemies!

No, I do not mean the enigmatic rock group!  That’s a bizarre subject for another essay another time!  You have likely heard KISS referred to as either Keep It Short and Simple or Keep It Simple, Stupid! Either way, the power of the simple approach is evident!  In addition to focusing our thoughts on what we do NOT have in our possession, we tend to further complicate matters by buying into the false belief that in order for a strategy to be effective it must be inherently complex.

I think that perhaps we sometimes create complex strategies in order to subtly sabotage our own efforts to embrace change and growth; thus, we succumb to the GIANTS of worry.  The more we allow worry to dominate our thoughts and actions, the less capable we are of taking charge of our life.

Among the Israelites, one person refused to acknowledge the perceived power of worry and this refusal proved pivotal in the final outcome of the battle in which they found themselves.

After David arrived at the Israelite camp, heard Goliath’s taunts, observed the fear and worry that paralyzed his countrymen and inquired as to the nature of their lack of response, he did the only thing that appeared logical.  He volunteered to defeat the GIANT worrying his brothers!  Now you might think that his courage would have brought him immediate accolades!  Not so!  In fact, a few became angry while others taunted him — funny how hearing a constant deluge of worrisome words can infiltrate our thinking, is it not?  Finally after much persuasion, the king agreed to allow David to face Goliath, but only if he dressed in the king’s battle gear.  Bad idea!

David was only a teen — certainly not a full grown man!  David was swimming in the armor given to him.  At last, David rejected the offer and went to meet the worrisome GIANT armed with what he had — what he knew.  As a shepherd, he had developed a skill for using a sling shot to protect his flocks — and he was quite adept at this skill, I might add.

David found FIVE SMOOTH STONES, put them into his pouch and made his way out to the battlefield.  Despite the laughter, belittling and derogatory comments flung his way by Goliath, David stood his ground, stated what he was going to do, reached into his pouch, pulled out one of the five stones, placed it in the cradle of the sling shot, began the circular motion necessary to launch the projectile and at the proper moment, let it fly!  The rest is history, legend or myth (however you choose to look at it) — the stone found its mark and the worrisome GIANT went down in defeat!

The keys to this unlikely victory?  There are two.

First, David took a little time to know something about his enemy.  He asked questions, made observations and evaluated his enemy.  If we are to ever banish the GIANTS of Worry from our lives, we must do the same thing!  A friend of mine told me that asking my readers to list their worries would be a great idea!  I agree!  So, before you read the Five Simple Steps to Banishing Worry from your life, may I suggest that you spend a little time making a list of the worries that cramp your life right now.  As my friend said, “writing them down brings them into perspective.”  In other words, they do not seem as large when they are on paper!  Thanks, Mara for that suggestion!  So, get to writing!

Second, David focused on what he HAD and not on what he did NOT have and used those skills, those possessions to his advantage!  He kept his approach simple!

So What Does This Mean?

We, like David, have the ability to banish worry in five simple steps — but only if we acknowledge the power found in them.  David selected five smooth stones knowing that if for some reason the first did not do the trick, he had four others equally capable of handling the task.  Let’s look at the five simple steps you can employ to banish worry from your life!  I recently worked the following process so that I could share it with you from a perspective of experience rather than theory.  Believe me, it works!  Get ready!

1. Focus on What You DO Have! Too often we allow the “if/only” game to set us up for defeat.  You know how it goes, “I I only had ______ then I could achieve my goals.”  When we fall victim to this impotent game, we miss the obvious — those things we DO have in our possession.  The First Challenge I extend to you is this: Set aside 30 minutes or so and make a list of everything you have in your possession — at your fingertips — right now!  These things will form the foundation from which you will attack worry!  Some examples of things you might list are education, friends, contacts, club/organization membership, ideas, products, abilities, talents, cars, computers, a house, televisions, etc.  You get the idea!  List everything you have right now.
2. Reflect on How These Possessions Have Served You in the Past! After you have listed everything that comes to mind, make notations about how you have employed each of these possessions in the past as well as the outcomes associated with using them.  Be honest!  Be as complete and detailed as possible in order to create a picture of the power packed in the things you possess.
3. Determine Ways in Which You Can Put These Possessions to Work for You Now! Begin the process of creating strategies to employ the power of those possessions as you work to attain your personal goals.  Assuming that all behavior is purposeful — that we act “in order to” and not “because of” — then the desired and anticipated outcomes of putting your possessions to work for you should become clear.  You will have an idea of what to expect as you put those things to work for you right now!
4. Take Deliberate Action Steps to Put Your Power into Play! Once your strategies are in place, start taking action steps toward your goals!  Be persistent and consistent!  Make calls!  Write letters!  Ask questions!  Attend networking meetings!  Be teachable!  Sell some of your stuff if you have to!  You get the point!  You must put your personal power into play if you expect to see any results!
5. Repeat the Cycle! That’s right, repeat the cycle!  Why you may ask?  Well, when we focus on what we have — those things we possess — and put them to work for us, then we will begin acquiring more of what we want that we didn’t have when we started the process in the first place!  As we begin to accumulate more of what we want, we discover that our resources have multiplied — we have more stuff with which to work — more possessions to invest in those things that are important to us!  Re-evaluation of our position in the process reminds us to always act from the position of what we do have in order to get what we need and want to live a fulfilled life!

One Final Thought

Life is unpredictable — and that in itself is predictable!  What we know for sure is that the ebb and flow of life will create challenges that must be met head on!  If we are not careful, we can allow the GIANTS of Worry to intimidate us into believing that we can do nothing!  They will convince us that our efforts to change our circumstances are futile at best.  They will defeat us!

Today — right where you are — decide to shift your focus to what you have at your fingertips!
Determine to put those known quantities to work for you!  Step out on that battlefield, select the first of your stones, place it in the cradle of your belief, set it into motion, release it toward its target and watch Worry fall to the ground in a heap of deflated bravado!  Now, do it again . . . and again . . . and again . . . and . . .

You can . . . no . . . You WILL banish worry!

Until next time . . . Peace!

The Old, The Wise and The Bald!

By: Mark Hundley (DME)

One out of Three Ain’t Bad!

This title sounds a little like an early Clint Eastwood movie – i.e. “The Good, The Bad and the Ugly!   Suffice to say that this has nothing to do with Westerns and certainly nothing to do with Clint Eastwood!  Heck!  I don’t even KNOW Clint Eastwood!  Further, although some of you might venture to guess that the title refers to me — NOPE!  Not even close; however, I do have one of those descriptors down pat — No, not the old part — the BALD part!  I’m moving toward old, but not quite there!

My Dear Friend

The three descriptor reference in the title actually refers to an old friend of mine — perhaps yous as well!  The renowned “Skin Horse” from The Velveteen Rabbit fame!  HE is “The Old, The Wise & The Bald” and HE has something very important to say to us about how to handle the “mean times” in which we find ourselves and further, how to live in the “meantimes” that follow in the aftermath of a particular “mean times” event we experience.  I am convinced that Margery Williams wrote this book for adults and disguised it as a children’s book!  I think she knew that we adults would sit down with children and read it to them all the while being forced to drop the facade of adult sophistication in order to do so.  This vulnerability would then allow us to absorb the important life lessons embedded in this wonderful story!
So much focus has been cast in the direction of the little Rabbit and his journey to “Realness” that we often forget the person most responsible for his success — the good old Skin Horse!  In an effort to shed appropriate light on his contributions, I will provide an annotated dissection of his sage words.  Perhaps in so doing, we can all discover a deeper center from which to draw strength as we live each day!

A Closer Look

“The Skin Horse had lived longer in the nursery than any of the others.  He was so old that his brown coat was bald in patches and showed the seams underneath, and most of the hairs in his tail had been pulled out to string bead necklaces.” Right up front, we derive from this passage that the Skin Horse has been around quite a while having lived longer than anyone in the nursery.  Now, on the surface, simple longevity might cause us to assume maturity; however, that is not the case.  We all know people who have lived many years and are as mature as a middle schooler — right?  We see them every day driving down our freeways (perhaps even some of us could be lumped into that category, huh?), ordering coffee from Starbucks, chairing boards of major corporations, making decisions that affect millions of people, etc.  Length of time on this planet does NOT guarantee maturity — or REALNESS — for that matter.  We  also discover that life has put him through quite a bit — bald patches on his coat, missing tail hairs and potentially unraveling stress on what holds him together!  Sound familiar?  Let’s read on!

“He was wise, for he had seen a long succession of mechanical toys arrive to boast and swagger, and by-and-by break their mainsprings and pass away, and he knew that they were only toys and would never turn into anything else.” There we have it!  The first indication that this old timer is indeed wise; however, we might find ourselves fooled if we simply took the word of another without proof!  Proof?  Yes, it is there!  This guy has watched a long string of “would be’s,” — “flashes in the pan” — line up to strut their stuff on the stage of life with clear understanding that they were hollow in their core.  They had nothing of substance holding them together.  It is also found in the observation that those who must resort to “boasting and swaggering” do so to hide their lack of substance.  Their fate is that of the “latest toy” — immediately cherished for their “bells and whistles” but destined for the scrap heap when the new wears off.  Know any like that?  Wait!  There’s more!

“For nursery magic is very strange and wonderful and only those playthings that are old and wise and experienced like the Skin Horse understand all about it.” Life has a way of balancing itself out — provided we hang around long enough or hold true to our values long enough to allow it to do its work.  Obviously, the Skin Horse is one of those who has done so and done so quite successfully I might add!  In fact, he is one of only a few who has achieved this noteworthy accomplishment.  Apparently, the second factor that guarantees that maturity enhances longevity is that of experience.  Somehow, experience generates a depth of maturity that time alone cannot produce.  I know that I have encountered 15 year olds who are more mature than many adults simply due to the life experiences they have endured and learned from.  I bet you know a few as well!  It keeps getting better!
Enter the Velveteen Rabbit!  “What is REAL?  asked the Rabbit one day . . . Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?” Ah, one of the “meaning” questions we all ask of ourselves or others at some point in our lives!  The young Rabbit has observed the kinds of personalities that the world at large defines as real and yet, we already know that those who depend on various forms of external motivations to jump start them are all destined for ruin eventually!  The Skin Horse has already made that perfectly clear.  I am sure that if this young fella had asked one of those unaware,  “keyed up dudes” he would have received a completely different answer.  (I find it fascinating that those who are most “unreal” often do not have a clue about their state!)  No!  The Rabbit knew — perhaps instinctively — to whom he must turn in his personal quest for “Realness!”  It works!  Let’s continue!
“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse.  “It’s a thing that happens to you.  When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.” Man wouldn’t life be easier if we could just flip a switch and PRESTO, suddenly be all that we were meant to be?  No struggles; no worries; no challenges — just instant success!  On the surface that sounds great, but in reality any “instant success” might work to our detriment.  It seems that we need time and effort and support in order to experience the failure necessary to guarantee real success!  The conversation gets even heavier!

“Does it hurt?”  asked the Rabbit. “Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.” Ouch!  That hurt a little!  But, you know, the Skin Horse is correct!  Becoming a real, mature person does indeed hurt sometimes.  If becoming Real were a cakewalk, we’d have more Real People running around!  No!  We have a tendency to avoid pain or struggle or hardship or sacrifice in our world!  Jim Fay identifies two different kinds of parents who tend to debilitate their children by feeding them false information about their abilities to function and cope successfully in life.  He calls them “Helicopters” who “hover and rescue” or “Drill Sergeants” who “bark orders!”  Both positions cripple self-confidence and communicate that children are not capable and therefore need others to rescue them or map out life for them!  I am so glad the Rabbit has an honest, truthful mentor to shoot straight with him!  Aren’t you?  Get ready for the really heavy part!

“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up, or bit by bit?”  “It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse.  “You become.  It takes a long time.  That’s why it doesn’t often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept.  Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby.  But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.” Wow!  The little guy already knows the answer to his question — he has already heard it once — or has he?  Perhaps he is asking the question in a different way.  Perhaps he is asking to see if the Skin Horse believes he has what it takes to get to Real!  The Old, The Wise, The Bald One remains true to his nature — he is honest!  The unspoken affirmation comes in a contrasting explanation of the type of people who are NOT likely to ever become Real — those who “break easily,” those who “have sharp edges” and those “who have to be carefully kept!”  By phrasing his answer in this manner, the Skin Horse acknowledges the Rabbit’s capacity to tap personal strength and resiliency to accomplish his goal.  Those around us who will never become Real people strive to deter those of us who work toward Realness.  You know what I mean — it happens each day in both subtle and obvious ways; however, if we stay the course there is a reward.  We will have the support of those that really matter — those who understand!  And . . . we WILL become Real!

Who in your life fits one of those three categories described earlier?  How are they discouraging your journey toward Realness?  What are you willing to do to surround yourself with “those who understand — who get it?”  How might those choices positively affect your life right now?

One final word from the Skin Horse.  He says,” . . . once you are Real, you can’t become unreal again.  It lasts for always.“   When we face the mean times of life and we do so after discovering the value of living as a Real person, we can never go back to pretend that we don’t know what we know!  It just doesn’t work that way!

May I encourage all of us to “Keep it Real?”  I’m thinking Realness will see us through!

Until next time — Peace and . . . Realness!

Mark

Copyright 2008 Mark E. Hundley

De-Clutter Your Life

By: Melissa Smallwood (DME)

Have you ever wondered where all your things come from?  Clutter is stuff, things, and objects.  Where does it come from?  How did all this get here in the first place?  Let’s take a look at what creates clutter and the ways to keep track of what is coming into your environment.

We live in a materialistic society.  Things can give a person status, comfort, recognition, a smile.  None of those things are negative, however if we rely on things for our positive attitude than we are setting ourselves up for disappointment.  We are also making ourselves vulnerable to relying on the accumulation of things to feel satisfied.  This is like trying to gain weight and only drinking water.  It’s not going to work!

There are a few different ways we accumulate things- but any way that we get something, the decision to keep it is ours alone.  Whether you purchase something on a whim, are given a gift that you know you won’t use or just can’t pass up a bargain, you have to remember that you are choosing to keep that item in your environment.  I am vulnerable to this when it comes to shoes.  Especially if they are cute and/or on sale J

So, how do you deal with the urge to collect things, accumulate stuff, add that notch to your shopping belt?  Here are a few things I recommend when trying to decrease the things you own that are just creating clutter and chaos in your environment:

• Keep a journal of purchasing.  A pair of shoes here, a clearance item there may not seem like a lot.  But, when added up all of these unnecessary purchases could be causing your cluttered environment.  You won’t know until you are honest with yourself about what you are bringing into your home.  Write it down for a few weeks and then examine how many of those items were necessary and you have a place for.

• Resist the urge to buy in bulk.  Now, let me clarify something here.  I am a frugal shopper and a strong advocate of doing everything possible to be good stewards of our financial resources.  However, if you do not have the room to store items in bulk- don’t buy them in bulk.  Many people will buy in bulk without doing the math to see if it is truly a better deal to do so (it is not always the cheaper route).  Think it through and ask yourself if you have room to store all these items BEFORE purchasing them.

• Be a bargain snob.  If you are easily sucked in by the clearance rack (as am I) then make a deal with yourself that if you are buying something new, something old has to leave.  If I buy a new blouse then I am already deciding in my mind which blouse I am willing to part with from my closet.  That type of mindset will stop impulse buying in its tracks quite often.

• Understand why you are accumulating.  Many times, accumulating things can be meeting more of an emotional need than an actual physical need.  Ever heard of retail therapy?  Many people say this jokingly but it is an actual phenomenon and can become addictive. Evaluate your motivation for purchasing an item- are you getting a temporary rush (fix) and then going to be stuck with the item for the long haul?

These are just a few of the things you can do to evaluate where your “stuff” problem is coming from.  Allow yourself the time and attention to discover the reason your environment is cluttered and you will have a much easier time rectifying the problem.

Melissa Smallwood (Multi-tasking Mama) has worked with seniors and families as a professional organizer for several years and is the owner of Organized Life by Design, LLC. She has an extensive human services background. She is also the mom of three active boys (one of which has special needs). She enjoys helping people get their lives, calendars and homes organized so that they have time to see and enjoy their blessings!

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